Can't catch those Zzz's

I forgot I had this account. I am not much of a blogger, so since I havent been here, I guess I should update this. Although only one person even knows about this account, and she already knows almost everything that happens in my life. But whatever, I suppose I shall write it all out anyways, perhaps it will help put me to sleep.

On Nov.19. 09 I left Nate, I took Aliza and moved back to my moms house. There were many reasons that I ended it, but the main reasons were that he was a bit neglectful of Aliza, and that worried me, and I was also insanely unhappy.
My unhappiness was causing me to sink into a depression, it got to the point that I couldnt sleep because all I did was stress. I had to start drugging myself to sleep. That right there is a major sign to me. I dont want to be that type of person. I am determined to live a full and happy life, so that I can be the best mother I can possibly be. Aliza deserves that.

Between the time I left and Jan. 01. 10, Nate only visited Aliza twice, although he had the option to every single day, and had nothing better to do. He didnt show to some visits that he had requested with her, and would later call me and simply say that he "didnt feel like it"

On Jan. 01. 10 Nate got arrested, he is being charged with attempted murder.
Whats been bugging me a lot is, if he is convicted, what will it be like for my daughter growing up. She deserves to have access to both parents. Also, what do I tell my baby girl when she asks where daddy is? I always want to be honest with her, but I dont want her going to school (when the time comes) and telling people that daddy is in prison. I also dont want her thinking that her daddy is a bad person. HE IS NOT A BAD PERSON, he just may have done a bad thing.
People keep giving me advice, but it doesnt put my mind at ease at all. My chest hurts and my heart hurts for what might be in store for my daughter.
I try not to stress over things that I cannot control, but this is my daughters father, and my daughters happiness at stake, I need to worry and think about it.


Other then that, life is absolutely fantastic. I have never been happier. I have wonderful friends and family who love me and are there for me. I dont know what I would do without them.
Well I guess that is all for now. Toodles

I cant believe it

It has been almost 2 months since we moved into our apartment, and I pretty much love it. It is great having my own space for me and my little family.

Aliza seems to love it there, she has so much more freedom, especially since we dont have pets.

We are yet to get a couch, but we have everything we need,(except for a car) we are happy. I love my family, I love my life.

I cant believe it

My baby love is almost a year old, how the time flies. She is walking all over the place, I am so proud of her. The first couple of steps she took, I cried.

I love congratulating her when she walks, her smile makes me so happy that I want to cry, and sometimes I do. I can feel the pride radiating from her when she knows she did something good.

There is no love like the love of a mother and her child. Its the only love at first sight that I believe in.

Soon I will be starting to potty train her, her Auntie Shannon got her a potty for her birthday so as soon as she gets it at her birthday party, we will be getting started when we get home that night.

Also I have set our living room up to be an educational place for her. Seriously, it looks like a preschool. There are flash cards all over the walls, with letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and different objects. As well as alphabet and number charts, plus I bought her over 70 books.

I am so determined for her to be educated, also it is good for when Ayden comes to visit.

Well thats about it for now.

Finally Moved

Well, I am 23 years old, and a mommy. On Saturday, I finally moved out of my moms house, I have wanted to, and been attempting to do so for quite sometime. I was longing for independance, as well as my own space.
Although my apartment has its flaw(and a major one at that) I still love it, because it is mine. Finally its just myself, Aliza, and Nate. Our little family is finally in our own little place.
Now I just need to come up with money for furniture, and a way to get it there once I get it. It really is quite bare with only a bed as furniture, but I know that soon enough, everything will fall into place.

I get off work in a little over an hour, I am struggling to stay awake.........oh wow, I dozed off for a bit.

I cant wait to go home and crash out.

Krystal

1st blog, rambling

I am at work, I get off in about 2.5 hours. I must say, this is the easiest job in the world, I pretty much do a bunch of nothing and get paid for it. Its awesome.

The only downfall to this job, or any job at all, is that I cant be with Aliza as much as I would like. I know that by me working, I am doing what is best for my little family, so I will continue to do so, and continue to miss Aliza.

I am sure that it is good for us to be away from each other for a bit anyhow, she is at home with her daddy, getting one on one time, which is great. Besides, she needs to adjust to being away from me too, she is such a momma's girl.
I sure do love her.

Well, this blog was pretty pointless, but I didnt know what to write really, and I needed a first blog.

I am off for now.
Krystal